


A New Year

by stellahibernis



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Family Feels, Homecoming, Pining, Post-Captain Marvel (2019)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22403449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellahibernis/pseuds/stellahibernis
Summary: A year to the day after Carol disappeared into the sky Maria wishes for her return home.
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Maria Rambeau
Comments: 12
Kudos: 75





	A New Year

Maria winced at the sharp clang of the wrench against the table. It was impossible to deny she was frustrated, but there were better avenues for that energy than taking it out on her tools. She’d hoped that focusing on the engine maintenance her plane needed would banish the restlessness, and while she’d been working, she’d been calm and almost relaxed, the familiar task carrying her with it, but now that she was done it was obvious she’d only managed to submerge the frustration for a while, not make it disappear.

“Monica, come help me with dinner.”

Her daughter grumbled a bit but did snap her book shut and follow her into the house. Maria had over the last year started to have Monica take part in all aspects of everyday life she could, had started to make sure she’d eventually have all the necessary skills to thrive in life, beyond just making sure she did her schoolwork properly. They sometimes clashed over it, there were times when Monica wanted to go see her friends or just do her own thing, and sometimes Maria was sure the arguments happened just because she was finding the extent of her boundaries. It was expected and healthy, and Maria held firm, believing Monica also understood where she was coming from, even when they never quite managed to put it in words. 

She’d always been aware that she’d have to prepare Monica for a relatively independent life earlier than many other people had to do with their children, that she couldn’t be coddled like may other girls her age were. Maria had tried to raise her daughter to be confident in herself even though and especially since so many she’d encounter in life would try to put her down, starting already now when she was still a child. She’d done her best to encourage Monica to speak her mind and to question established things that didn’t feel right, no matter how many people would see it distasteful. It would help her weather the storms she would have to later in life.

She’d always tried to protect Monica when she could, including not allowing her to hear the recording of the flight that Carol had gone down with. The tricky bit was finding the right balance between not making her childhood too hard or too short, and her ending up unprepared. Maria spent a lot of time worrying over it.

There were also the additional reasons for why the basic safety net for Monica wasn’t quite as extensive and sturdy as it was for many children. There was Maria’s job, flying experimental planes, which came with its very real risks. Maria had had to bail out once when the craft had just decided to die under her, she’d had to see Carol bail out in turn, her heart lodged in her throat until she’d known she hadn’t lost a friend that day, not to mention having had to make several emergency landings with whatever issues. She was good at what she did, better than most combat pilots who after all when they got into the planes could be reasonably confident they’d function as intended, but there were risks that came with the territory, and Monica might have to deal with the consequences. It didn’t help that she officially only had one parent and that her other caregiver had had the same job as her mother, the risks of which had become all too evident years earlier.

One year ago it had turned out the consequences had been different from what Maria had believed, but at the same time in many ways they hadn’t been any less severe.

Exactly one year ago she’d stood in front of her house, watching Carol take off running, leaping up into the sky, and disappear from her sight, leaving behind a fading streak of light. They hadn’t heard back from her since.

Later, when night had deepened into black and Monica had not only gone to bed but was asleep rather than reading with a flashlight, Maria went out again to their backyard. She’d spent countless hours there, looking up at the stars, a habit Carol had taught her. First it had been the two of them, then Monica had joined, and for the last seven years it had been just two again, her and her daughter. What had changed over the last year was that Maria felt hopeful again rather than sad when looking up, because she now knew Carol was somewhere out there.

What had also changed over the last year was that she came out to look at the stars alone, and she would have been lying to herself if she’d pretended she wasn’t always looking for a streak of light, something that would grow and come closer, would not fizz out like every shooting star.

She’d be lying, too, if she now denied that she had secretly expected this day to be the one when her wish came true, this anniversary. Exactly a year ago she’d watched Carol disappear, and it felt only right and just that she’d reappear now. Of course, it was just magical thinking, real life was a different matter. Carol had promised to come back, but hadn’t said when, because it hadn’t been a promise she could have reliably made. Maria didn’t know how far she’d have to go to find a new home for Talos and his people, but she knew it was a promise Carol intended to keep, despite it taking her away from home. Maria had learned bits and pieces about the war between the Kree and the Skrulls, not much but enough to understand why Carol considered it her duty to make things right for the refugees.

She’d been robbed of her life, but she was still herself, and it meant she still looked after others who suffered before taking care of her own needs and wants.

Maria gazed up at the stars for a long time, but they were just as every night, nothing special, and finally she went back inside and to bed, firmly telling herself it was silly to be disappointed because she shouldn’t have expected anything in the first place.

* * *

When Maria woke up, she first didn’t know what had roused her from the slumber, only a couple of hours after she’d gone to bed. After blinking for a moment and listening she realized there was a strange glow coming in through the window, a light that wasn’t the sunrise nor a street lamp nor fire, fading as she focused on it. Suddenly she was wide awake.

She grabbed a shirt to pull over her top, and rushed to the back door to see where the light was coming from. The night was dark, but it didn’t matter, her gaze fell right on Carol, who was standing in the middle of their backyard, the final glow around her fading, leaving her looking like a regular human again. She grinned when she looked up, almost literally lighting up again.

Maria was moving before she needed to think about it, running to Carol who met her half way, pulling her into a hug, bending back so that Maria’s feet left the ground for a moment. On any other time she would have complained about it but not now, not when she was so happy that they were together again, that Carol had come back and that she wouldn’t have to be out here the next night, staring up and wondering if Carol was alive and well anymore.

They hugged for a long time, but finally Maria pulled back. “You’re crushing my ribs, girl.”

Carol let go, enough to let her breath again, but didn’t step away. Instead she burst into the familiar laughter that Maria had missed, that had never stopped echoing inside her heart. She had a million things to say, countless things she wanted to ask about, but none of them came out. She just stared at Carol, resettling into her presence.

Much easier than to decide what to say was to decide what to do next. Maria didn’t let herself worry or hesitate, just stepped up, framed Carol’s face with her hands, and kissed her.

It was a simple kiss, sweet and tender, and Maria smiled when Carol pulled her close once more, now more careful of her ribs. The last time they were together, during those few wonderful days when the biggest sorrow of her life had been overturned, they hadn’t kissed, and Maria had regretted it since the moment she saw Carol fly away. There had been reasons to not do it, good reasons, starting with how Carol clearly hadn’t been comfortable in her skin, _in herself,_ the way she’d used to be, the way she was now, and that for the longest time she hadn’t remembered anything of her past, including what they’d meant to each other. Then there had been her decision to go to help Talos, and it hadn’t felt right to start anything, even if they’d both been in the right mindset for it. Maria had wished countless times since then that she’d made a different choice, had wished she’d kissed Carol after all for what might have been her last chance, and she hadn’t wanted to regret it again.

They separated, and this close Maria could see every detail of Carol even in the darkness, every nuance of her expression. She was smiling as their eyes met, but after a second she scrunched her nose in the way Maria still knew meant she was mildly annoyed about something.

“I really wanted to make it here yesterday,” Carol said. “It felt right to come back a year after I left, but I got delayed a few too many hours on the way.”

Her thoughts echoed Maria’s from just hours ago, and it was a happy thought, that they were still so in sync that it had felt right to both of them. Maria still didn’t regret they’d missed the day unlike just hours earlier, because all the wistful longing was now gone and she was overflowing with happiness.

“I get that, but I don’t really care,” she said. “You’re here, it’s enough.”

Carol leaned in and rested their foreheads together, breathing deep, and Maria could tell she was letting her burdens and worries go. She hoped more than anything that for a while Carol would be able to just be, to just rest, because she suspected there hadn’t been too many chances to do so for several years.

“Come on,” Maria said, starting toward the house and pulling Carol along with her. “Let’s go to bed.”

* * *

They went to bed but they didn’t sleep. When Maria had woken up she’d felt tired, but now she couldn’t have slept even if she’d tried, there was an almost frantic need to relearn how they fit together, what had changed and what was the same. It couldn’t be done on just one occasion, but they made a start and the most pressing yearning was at least sated after a while, and she felt more relaxed than she could remember being in years. She knew she could have just fallen asleep exactly the way she was, wrapped around Carol, but she shook herself awake enough to find pajamas for both of them, because there was a chance Monica would barge in come morning, especially if she noticed the jacket Carol had dropped on the back of a chair in the kitchen.

They easily gravitated together again, tangling their legs and resting their heads on the same pillow, nearly nose to nose. It was a familiar position, learned early in their friendship when they’d already known they were important to each other but hadn’t yet quite figured out every aspect of their relationship. They’d spent countless hours in bed like this, whispering secrets and support to each other, or just gossiping, enjoying the trust and closeness. They’d always had to keep their relationship on the down low because of the Air Force, and it had rankled the both of them, but at least they’d been safe. They’d taken the full advantage of people overlooking closeness between two women who were known to be fast friends much more than they would have that of two men. It wasn’t right, but it was the reality of their lives, and for some years they’d been able to live to the fullest.

“It didn’t all come back to me, at once,” Carol whispered, and Maria knew immediately what she meant; that she was opening up about her experiences the way she hadn’t been able to before beyond the clinical absolutes.

She smiled. “Yeah, I kind of figured that.”

Carol poked her on the side for sassing, and while on some other night it might have evolved into a tickle fight, she was clearly feeling more serious now. “Memories of you were the first that came back to me, and after we came here with Fury I figured soon enough that you were important, but the details came in bits and pieces. I was on the other side of the galaxy when I really knew.”

“Bet that annoyed you.”

Carol laughed, which had been what Maria had aimed for, she could have listened to the sound forever. “I really was. All the way back here I was thinking of how I’d bring it up, but I’m not disappointed none of the scenarios I considered happened.”

“I don’t believe for one second you didn’t think we might just kiss like that. Or did you think you’d be making the move?”

“Well, I thought about it, either way, but I decided it might be too much.”

Maria pulled Carol closer, laughing and shaking her head. “Clearly you still don’t remember everything, because you were always too much, always larger than life.” She pressed another kiss on Carol’s lips. “I always thought you were just right.”

“I remember now,” Carol said, sincere the way she was when she made promises, when she wanted you to really believe her, when she wanted to believe herself.

For a while they were quiet, just lying together and breathing each other in, getting used to the closeness once more. There was something Maria needed to say, though, a truth that needed to be spoken aloud.

“It’s okay that you’ll have to go again.”

She said it clearly, without wavering, without hesitating, because she knew it would happen, that now that Carol could reach the skies, she no longer could stop herself from going, wouldn’t be able to not help when there was trouble around. Not that it was much different from before.

Carol didn’t try to deny it, just steadily looked at Maria. “I’ll always come back. I promise.”

“I believe you.”

Maria would have said it regardless, would never have given Carol the cause to believe she doubted her, but with the evidence in her arms, it wasn’t hard to say the words and mean them.

* * *

Maria woke up with the sun shining in her eyes, but it wasn’t the reason she rose from sleep. Instead it was the shriek Monica let out somewhere in the house, and she didn’t even have time to be alarmed before the door banged open and her daughter was there, a huge smile on her face.

“Aunt Carol!”

Monica dove right into the bed with them in her rush to hug Carol, who squeezed her right back, although visibly carefully. Maria realized she was laughing, that they were all laughing. They had every reason to, because it was a beautiful morning, and their family was together again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I'm also variously active on [dreamwidth](https://stellahibernis.dreamwidth.org/)/[tumblr](https://stellahibernis.tumblr.com/)/[twitter](https://twitter.com/stellahibernis).


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